Just a word to the wise...
If you're on a new founded, self empowerment, spiritual journey, or whatever you want to call it. You can not belittle those around you when they disagree with your beliefs and/or thought patterns. Then expect them to be supportive of you and your choices when you're belittling and blatantly disrespect theirs. It's a two way street friend.
I've had it with my friend on the Island who has "found herself" in the last couple years. I've been bombarded with a shit load of Bcc: emails on how to treat certain ailments with herbs and how A, B and C routes cause cancer.
She aimed specific ailments at those in the email. I won't divulge the ailments of other people, though I will mine, cos it's no secret, and I believe in being an open book with my friends about body and mental health. The more you know... etc. I have hypothyroidism and a wussy stomach that has recently gotten worse.
Let me say, I love my doctor. He knows where I stand about being on medication and taking pills in general. He respects it. I take a prescribed med for my thyroid and my stomach. Nothing else. I try not to take Advil etc unless realllllllllllly required. I do not take allergy pills unless I'm going to the island or somewhere were the animals run the house etc. I have a 3 pill rule. Any more than that, there is something more going on.
I educate myself. I ask questions. I also trust in my doctors as they are not pill pushers and get to the cause of your issues. If they can control, repair or cure your illness without meds, he'll try. The fact I do take two prescribed medications, causes this friend to flip her lid. She sends unsolicited emails about the harm I'm doing my body etc some manifest written by someone with no medical experience or education...just an opinion. A strong one at that.
I've had it.
I love my friend but hate where she is in her head. Recap: this is the same girl who told a house full of people at a christmas dining room table, how'd we all be healthier if we were vegetarians....while at a TURKEY dinner!
The fact I even feel the need to defend my choices for my own health, simply pisses me off. In addition to my response to her, I mentioned as gently as I could, she was still welcome to come for a visit in November, but not if she was going to be spewing her opinion on the way I live my life, or my roommates, cos it doesn't correspond or agree with hers. If she couldn't refrain, then she was welcome to stay home.
As much as I want to support her, I strongly suggested she keep her opinions to herself. She can believe in whatever she wants, she just doesn't have to share it with everyone, of every minute of every waking moment. I like to let others live their lives however they want if they're not hurting anyone. When I'm at the receiving end of an attack via mass group emails, regarding that I'm "killing" myself with my medical choices etc, then I have a problem. Ignoring her won't help the cause.
I'm ranting here, but know, that my reply to her was gentle, using her "way of talk" to make the point of BACK OFF SISTER!
It's the holier than thou, you're all beneath me attitude and sometimes the words are said, that makes me question if I have what it takes to be supportive and friends with someone who belittles me for my life choices while expecting support from others.
I'd thought she'd found that happy medium of knowing social ques of when its appropriate to spew her thoughts and when it's not. Now she's living on her own again. (whole other story there) and now there is no balance. It's go go go go spew spew spew. Even the way she talks is different. The voice is raised, patronizing, and a little yoga instructor tone. (soft, drawn out, instructing words) It's not her.
When I'm on the Island, I won't be staying with her as she opted not to have any furniture. She sleeps on a yoga mat in her sleeping bag, soon to be a daybed in the living room, and uses the living room and bedroom as a healing space. Upon asking her about having guests over etc, her reply was, they'd have to bring their own chairs if they plan on hanging out etc. And she wonders why I have no intentions of staying with her or why she can't find a date? You're almost 40. You can believe/practive what you want and still have grown up furniture.
In order for her to really blossom in her journey, I suggested she travel the world. The lower mainland and the Island are really not going to embrace her at this level of the game. (see I can have tact).
I know this must seem as I'm bashing her. I am a little. Frustrated, however I am not discouraging her journey. I simply do not want unsolicited input, and mass emails advising me I'm killing myself for not believing in the same lifestyle.
The short of it is.... know your audience. Pick your battles. Know your social ques.
I was part of a conversation about the Internet and socialization today and we were wondering if FB and everything will prevent the next generation from understanding proper social interaction - but I wonder if our generation has actually lost the ability to communicate in the gray areas. In that the Internet is a great place to have black and white opinions and have no one call you on it - but life doesn't work that way, well not if you plan on talking with others who are different than you.
ReplyDeleteThat is not to say you can't have an opinion, but you are right, know your audience. For example, I HATE people who approach being GF like a new fad diet like Atkins or something. I am because I have no choice, I know it's not healthy - there is so little fibre or nutritional value in a loaf of 10 dollar bread... And yet all I hear from casual GFer's is it's so good for you. Really? They're the same people who don't look at every label - that sh*t is in everything. Never mind who in their right mind would deny themselves cinnamon buns or donuts or well the list goes on...
Yes I'm venting - sorry. I agree with you, as per usual.
I have a few friends that are GF. It's hard. They hate it. While there are slowly becoming more GF choices it's not an easy life. Get really sick or just feel a little blah in comparison by avoiding the GF all together???
ReplyDeleteYou (and other friends) are grown adults with the ability to educate themselves, ask questions, obtain professional nutrient information that will help you live a better life... FOR YOU.
For the naysayers.. screw you. Really. Educate yourself. Ask questions. Doesn't mean you have to agree in the end, but at least you'll have an informed opinion to back up your disagreance of the issue.
Next....
Social protocal is gone.
The next gerneration are going to be a society of 140 characters to talk/type. There will be short hand, no more full written sentences.
Manners.... well they're already gone. No one removes their hates indoors anymore, end conversations by simply not replying, not giving up your seat to anyone who might need it, disrepecting their elders or authority cos our legal system is flawed, and slow to prosecute those breaking the law in a timely manner.
I'm sad for the future children of this world. Personally, I think we grew untirely too fast as a species, and will destroy ourselves as a result of moving forward to fast and not taking more time to preserve the present and past in the process.
I'm sad for the days when human contact and touch is a thing of the past.
ya I know I'm a bit off topic here.. .will repost this as a new entry.